Wednesday, March 25, 2020

"Introduction to Sacred Silence: A Prayer for the Empty"

You can watch below the recording of Mother Cecilia's webinar about silence from last week.

About this talk: Silence, the most mysterious form of prayer, is also the simplest. But most people either run away in fear from this simple route of Theosis (union with God) or attempt it but quickly become discouraged. Mother Cecilia will clear up some misconceptions about silence and stir up your desire to plunge into the mystery. Her talk will be encouraging news to those who feel that they are empty and have nothing to bring to prayer, and it will be challenging news to those who feel the opposite!


You can still sign up for further talks in this Lenten series on prayer.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

A poem during the pandemic

An Acceptable Time*

Lord, help us to find You
waiting in our souls,
when Bread is withheld and
Your Voice falls silent.

In this desert darkness,
may the invisible glow of
Your indwelling Presence
enfold us in hope.

You are not removed,
cannot be kept from us.
Closer than our own selves,
You’re buried in our hearts.

Teach us to keep vigil
with You in the Garden,
to surrender—not my will
in trust that our tears water

other gardens, a million gardens
that have lain dormant
in our dust.  We submit
to this pruning.

Bring forth a harvest
for Your Church, renew us
in the faith that God is with us:
We cannot be shaken.*

*Title taken from Isaiah 49:8 (Douay-Rheims and KJV--rendered in modern translations as "a time of favor").  The last lines allude to Psalm 46/45, v. 5  "God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved".

--Sr. Petra

Monday, March 23, 2020

An open letter to the faithful: A Eucharistic "fast"

Beloved brothers and sisters in the Lord,

I have been praying for all of you, especially during this Great Fast, during this time of turmoil in the country, in the Church and in the world.  I believe I have a message of hope to share with you, which I pray is from Our Father.  Please allow me to share my reactions to the current situation in the Church, as well as the light I believe that God has given me to accept and find grace during this time.

Over the past week, our country has plunged into a radical reactionism unlike anything I have experienced in my 33 years of life.  Over the course of several days, precautions have been taken and bans put in place to slow the spread of COVID-19, commonly spoken of as the coronavirus, which has been labeled a pandemic.  It seemed like each day, there were more freedoms limited, more opportunities taken away--most especially, our freedom to worship the Lord at Mass and the Divine Liturgy.  As a nun, this was a great pain for me.  During the Great Fast in the Byzantine Tradition, we fast from the consecration of the Eucharist on weekdays, but the Church in her wisdom, knows that we cannot fast from the Bridegroom completely, so she prescribes what is called "The Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts," which is a communion service with Jesus’ Precious Body consecrated on the previous Sunday given to the faithful in the context of Vespers, or evening prayer.  But now, in the current state of affairs, we will also abstain from this--and even from the Sunday celebration of the Divine Liturgy.

My first reaction was anger and frustration.  How can the bishops do this?  How can it be good for the faithful to be without the sacraments or public worship, especially during this difficult time?  How can we conceivably cancel Holy Week and Pascha (Easter)?! Perhaps some of you can relate to these sentiments--or have felt them yourselves.

As I was shopping this past week to prepare for a three-week self-quarantine at the monastery, in an attempt to protect our immuno-compromised sisters, I felt all these feelings welling up within me.  As I turned to the Father in the midst of this seeming "apocalypse shopping," I felt His overwhelming presence and invitation to trust.  In His goodness, I also felt Him place upon my heart an answer to my question.  Not the question I asked of, "Why is this happening?"  But the deeper question of, "What am I supposed to do?"  The response was staggeringly simple.  “Consent.”

“Ok, Father.  You are asking me to consent.  To trust that You are at work in the request of our bishops.  To give my ‘yes’ to that which I would not choose for myself.  Yes, Father.  I consent.”

As this prayer tumbled around in my heart while I moved 50-pound bags of rice, I also became aware of a deeper reality.  My consent was to bear fruit!  I saw another invitation--to offer my ache to receive Him in reparation and repentance for those who do not receive Him worthily.  My pain was becoming fruitful before my eyes!  I saw a great opportunity to offer my own living sacrifice--a contrite heart--which the Lord will not refuse.  As my spiritual father has often told me, we don’t need to seek out penance--our lives and vocations will present us with the penance and suffering that God desires for us.  Since I believe this to be true, I see the invitation of this Great Fast and Pascha to enter into an Even Greater Fast--from the very sacraments that bring me into contact with God’s presence--because God is allowing this to happen and asking me to consent.  And you, too. 

In a sense, we now know for sure what the Father is asking us to give up for the Great Fast--and it’s not just chocolate!!  Though we continue with our other observances for the Great Fast, there is more He is asking.

I believe this is precisely the purification that we need--as a culture and Church in America.  We need to know Who we receive in the Eucharist.  We need to know that He is God, and we are not.  We need to fast from our need to control--to have things ‘on demand’--even sacraments .  We need to allow this purification to drive us inward in the right way--to the presence of God in each of us.  To learn to pray.  To seek relationship with the Trinity.  We need to learn to pray as a family, to make God’s love present in our homes.

So, I make a radical request of you, dear brothers and sisters.  I ask you to share in the Father’s request of me, the request He is making of each of us, to "consent."  Consent to the situation that God has placed us.  Pray for our bishops and trust their discernment.  Pray intentionally in your hearts and in your homes for our Church and for the whole world during this time of crisis.  Allow your ache for Him to be fruitful.  In this time of cleansing our bodies to remain free from COVID-19, allow the Father to purify your soul from the virus of pride, self-love, self-determination and control.  And trust that the Father will be faithful and bring more good than we can imagine out of what seems to be evil.

I am praying for all of you and I love you.

In Christ’s Heart,
Mother Gabriella

Saturday, March 21, 2020

Resources for prayer in your home

[UPDATED 3/25]
Because most public liturgies are cancelled for the time being, here are some resources so that you can pray from home. Let's make use of this opportunity to revive our domestic churches!

We are working on a project to help you pray during Holy Week and Pascha (Easter) at home!

For Sundays:

Office of Typika for Home Use (This service can be used when there is no possibility of attending Divine Liturgy)

For the propers (changeable parts) for Typika for a particular Sunday, follow these instructions:
1. Visit the Metropolitan Cantor Institute website
2. Find the "Liturgical Calendar" column on the right side of the page
3. Scroll down to find the current date
4. Click on the "Divine Liturgy" link under that date

Byzantine Act of Spiritual Communion


Epistle and Gospel Readings
Scroll down to find the correct Sunday
(March 29 is the 5th Sunday of Great Lent)

Another option:
Live Stream from the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Parma, Ohio
At least for this weekend, Matins is at 10:00 a.m. and Divine Liturgy is at 11:00 a.m. Eastern Time
Find a Live Liturgy at another church or monastery

For video reflections on the Gospel reading, given by two Melkite Byzantine priests:
Click on the gold box to the right
Or, here are reflections for the Roman Catholic Gospel readings

For Other Days of the Week:

The People's Book for the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts (To follow along with the live stream)
As of now, the Presanctified Liturgy is streamed on Wednesdays(?) and Fridays at 7:00 p.m. Eastern Time

"Byzantine Daily Office": Daily prayers of the day sent to you each day by email or available through a smart-device APP. Here is the link to subscribe.

To use to pray on your own or to follow along with our live stream:
Daily Lenten Matins (does not include the daily Lenten propers)
Daily Vespers (does not include the daily Lenten propers or Lenten dismissal)
Sunday Evening Vespers during the Great Fast
Great Compline for weekdays during the Great Fast

For the texts for other services, including Holy Week services: Follow the 4-step instructions above to access these services on the Metropolitan Cantor Institute's website. There are also tons of resources on this website, so explore around!

Monastery Live Stream:

We are live streaming some of our services from our chapel! Visit our Facebook Page to find out which ones and to watch the videos live or later. You do not need to have a Facebook account to watch.

Friday, March 20, 2020

Live stream of the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete

Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete
PARMA EVENT IS CANCELLED, BUT WE WILL LIVE STREAM!
Monday, March 23, 6:00-9:30 p.m. Eastern Time
Go to our Facebook Page and click on the video
You can watch even without a Facebook Account
The video can also be viewed later

After some opening prayers, we will begin on p. 6

About the Great Canon:
A canon is one of the elements of the daily liturgical service of Matins, or Morning Prayer. It is made up of nine sections called odes, based on nine biblical canticles (songs). The Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete is an extra-long canon of repentance that is prescribed to be prayed in portions during the first week of the Great Fast, and in full on the Thursday morning of the 5th week of the Fast. This year, the Great Canon is transferred to Tuesday morning because of the feast of the Annunciation. We will pray it on Monday evening so that more people will be able to pray with us. The Great Canon's hundreds of prostrations unite our body and soul as we repent of our sins and experience God’s mercy. It is also tradition to read the life of St. Mary of Egypt in two parts during the Great Canon. Listening to St. Mary of Egypt's story of repentance is one of the most moving aspects of the Great Canon. We hope you can join us for the live stream and pray with us, for all or part of the canon. 

Some advice!:
Unless your knees are in perfect shape, we advise you to make your prostrations on carpet or a rug! Don't hurt yourself! Only do as many prostrations as you reasonably can! And be sure to stretch afterward. We recommend that you set up your own icon and candle (if you don't already have an icon corner) to place next to your computer screen, so that you are prostrating toward the Lord in your own icon. We look forward to praying with you!

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

"The Jesus Prayer: A Prayer for the Weak during the Week"

Did you miss Mother Cecilia's webinar on the Jesus Prayer? You can watch it here! Also, consider signing up for her second webinar, "An Introduction to Sacred Silence: A Prayer for the Empty," which will take place this Thursday. A talk that didn't need to be canceled due to the virus! :) We are praying for all of you during this difficult time.

Saturday, March 14, 2020

News and thoughts about the coronavirus

Below is the decree of Bishop Milan announcing his decisions for the prevention of the spread of the coronavirus in the Eparchy of Parma. (Click on the images to enlarge them.) In addition, at the recommendation of the bishop (because of the immune-system deficiencies of some of the nuns), the monastery, chapel and poustinias will be closed to guests until further notice. We are very sorry for this difficulty. Also, the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete, which was scheduled for March 23 at the Cathedral, is cancelled, but we hope to be able to live-stream it from the monastery chapel so that you can pray with us at home. Please know that we are united with you in prayer, and we are praying for you and your loved ones.

It is times like these that remind us of what is always true: 1) We must be prepared for death, and 2) We are made for eternal life. As Christians, we are called to witness to eternal life. We cannot preserve our lives here forever, and we are made for something much greater: eternal union with God. May our hope in God banish fear from our hearts. Of course, we are called to act in charity and prudence, but fear must not overcome us. May this be a beautiful time in which can grow in faith and hope, and in which we can rejoice in the destruction of eternal death by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ--the Bridegroom--the One who comes to save His Bride, the Church, and unite her to Himself. This is what the Great Fast is all about. Let us rejoice!

Monday, March 2, 2020

Lenten Prayer Opportunities with the Nuns

Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete
PARMA EVENT IS CANCELLED, BUT WE WILL LIVE STREAM!
Monday, March 23, 6:00-9:30 p.m. Eastern Time
Go to our Facebook Page and click on the video
You can watch even without a Facebook Account



Join the nuns of Christ the Bridegroom Monastery for the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete on Monday, March 23, at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist, 1900 Carlton Rd., Parma, Ohio. The hundreds of prostrations unite our body and soul as we repent of our sins and experience God’s mercy.  We will also listen to the life of St. Mary of Egypt and venerate her relic. The opportunity for the Mystery of Holy Repentance (Confession) will also be available. A simple Lenten meal will be served 5:00-5:45 p.m., and the Canon will begin at 6:00 p.m. All are invited to come for part or all of the Canon, even if you are not physically able to participate in the prostrations. The duration of the Canon is approximately 3.5 hours. If you plan to come for dinner, please RSVP by Thursday, March 19, to christthebridegroom@gmail.com or 440-834-0290.

Bridegroom Matins with Bishop Milan (CANCELLED)

The nuns of Christ the Bridegroom Monastery invite you to join them and Bishop Milan for Bridegroom Matins, their patronal commemoration, on Great & Holy Wednesday, April 8, at 8:00 a.m. at the monastery: 17485 Mumford Rd., Burton, Ohio. The readings and hymns of this service rouse the heart to conversion and vigilance for the coming of the Bridegroom and offer strength to His Bride the Church as we journey with Him in His passion. A light breakfast will follow. Please RSVP by Friday, April 3, to christthebridegroom@gmail.com or 440-834-0290.

Monday, February 24, 2020

Bishop Milan's Pastoral Letter for the Great Fast

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

God gives us the time of the Great Fast (Lent) so we can pause, quiet down, and turn ourselves toward Him. We are invited to grow in our spiritual life, to get closer to our Lord Jesus Christ, and to prepare ourselves well for the celebration of the feast of Pascha – Resurrection.

Missionaries are often asked: “Why did you have to leave for a mission to a foreign country, to a culture of which you are not part? Hadn’t you better stay home to proclaim the Gospel among your own, in your own language?” One answer is this: “People need to be told of what they do not see on themselves, and they need to be told by someone who is capable of seeing from the different perspective, from the outside, from a different culture.” That is why Christ sent his apostles throughout the world.

Our Church is called to be missionary. My intention is to proceed with opening new parishes in our Eparchy, since the goal of the missionary work of the Church is to create communities where the Eucharist can be celebrated. In so doing we are emulating the works of the apostles, especially the apostle Paul in the Acts of the Apostles. In his Encyclical Redemptoris Missio, Pope St. John Paul II tells us, “one of the central purposes of mission is to bring people together in hearing the Gospel, in fraternal communion, in prayer and in the Eucharist.” (¶ 26) I am pleased that the faithful in our parishes often receive the Holy Eucharist. On one hand, you are to be commended for such devotion and commitment.

On the other hand, we recognize that the Holy Eucharist is also a source of strength in our weakness. The Holy Eucharist helps us to be like the one who we follow – Jesus Christ. We will never be quite like him, but we can at least approach Him. Here, in the Eucharist, He offers forgiveness for venial sin and a cure for our shortcomings. Thus, we understand the words of the Holy Father Francis in his Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, “the Eucharist, although it is the fulness of sacramental life, is not a prize for the perfect but a powerful medicine and nourishment for the weak.” (¶ 47) Of course, the Eucharist is not intended for the forgiveness of mortal sins, which are actually an obstacle blocking us from worthily receiving the Eucharist (this is why we also have the sacrament of Confession).

Recall the story in the Book of Exodus. The Hebrews journeyed to freedom from the slavery of the Egyptians. First, they had to recognize that they were indeed slaves. If they did not recognize this fact, they would never understand the desire for freedom. On their passage to freedom God fed them with manna. This is exactly what the Eucharist is doing for us. It is nurturing us (slaves to sin) on our journey to freedom. But we should also remember that the initial enthusiasm of the Hebrews at receiving manna diminished. In fact, after, this awe-inspiring “bread from heaven,” became for them something rather ordinary. After losing proper perspective, they began to murmur and grumble about almost anything. They were even starting to feel sorry for the slavery they had left in Egypt. That was the reason why God ordered an altar built where they could bring sacrifice for reconciliation. Is there any among us who has the audacity to say that he is free from vices or bad habits? It would be a miracle. Who is untouched by temptations from power, money, prestige, praise, uncommitted relationships, TV, internet, smart devices, pornography, sex, alcohol, or sport?

This underscores the necessity of Confession. The confessional has distinct advantages:

  • It’s the place where, after the thorough examination, I admit my failures and where I am begging God and people for forgiveness (both psychologically and spiritually).
  • It’s the place where I can renew the spirit. My spirit was ignited at my baptism. Reconciliation is like a repetition of baptism. Not literally, but figuratively. Our resolutions have a tendency after a while to become lukewarm, and they need occasionally to get refreshed.
  • Confession is help from above. It is not only the place where we receive forgiveness for our sins, but also a source of strength to resist temptation. This is part of the mystery of the sacrament. Sacrament is a visible sign of God’s invisible grace. I need God’s grace not only as a sinner, but even to give me the strength to avoid sin. Our lives are, after all, an effort to follow Jesus Christ. But what kind of following would it be without Christ helping us. He has chosen you, and He will surely give you everything you need so you can fulfill the call. God will never lead you where he cannot sustain you.
  • Confession has a great psychological effect. Its ironic when people, instead of going to confession, would rather pay big money for all kinds of manmade therapies and counseling. At the same time, they look at Confession as some kind of goofy practice. Well-known psychotherapist Carl Jung said that, among the countless people he treated with therapy, he found nobody who would go to Confession. Priests are delighted to provide this service for free, by hearing your Confession. Not only is it free, but it comes with some measure of expertise and experience – consider the hundreds of Confessions each priest hears every year. Do not underestimate us priests. Many of us are well qualified and educated, and all have acquired a certain pastoral “wisdom” by hundreds of hours hearing the stories of people who are hurt or broken and in need of healing.

Maybe in our Eparchy we too need to rediscover the grace of Confession. Perhaps in your life this sacrament of healing has been long-forgotten. I sincerely and warmly recommend to all the faithful in this time of the Great Fast to go back to Confession and to get ready for Pascha. You can find some helpful material on our eparchial website www.parma.org.

Brothers and sisters, I pray that we all discover the awesome power of the sacrament of Reconciliation as the authentic way of penance, and as a precious meeting with the loving and forgiving Christ.

✠ Most Rev. Milan Lach, SJ
Bishop of the Eparchy of Parma

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Online Lenten Formation Opportunities

We would like to share with you two Eastern Catholic online formation programs for the Great Fast. You do not need to be Eastern Catholic to participate! Mother Cecilia is one of the presenters for the program that is listed second. God bless you in your Lenten journey!

God With Us Online:

"We invite you to join us for the first four Wednesdays of the Fast as we contemplate the spiritual journey of Great Lent using the late Rev. Alexander Schmemann's work by the same name to guide us. Rev. David Anderson, himself a student of Fr. Alexander, will walk us through the book to understand the prayer of the Church during the Great Fast more deeply.

While it is not necessary to have the book to participate, it is available here if you would like a copy. We certainly think you will find it edifying!

We hope you'll join us and invite others on this spiritual journey as well! As always, there is no charge to participate, but registration is required."

(Fr. David is one of our online professors through the Magdala Apostolate; he is a wonderful teacher!)

"Return to Me" An Online School of Prayer:

"Join us for our School of Prayer
Thursdays during Lent, 7 p.m.
All webinars will be held on Zoom."

For more information and to register

(Click on any of these blue images to see them larger)






Saturday, February 8, 2020

Recommended Reading for the Great Fast

Recommendation by Sister Natalia

First Fruits of Prayer: A Forty Day Journey Through the Canon of St. Andrew
by Frederica Mathewes-Green

Each morning during Matins (morning prayer), we have something called “the canon,” consisting of nine odes based on biblical canticles. Twice a year (during the first and fifth week of the Great Fast), we pray a particular canon, written by St. Andrew of Crete (during the first week it is split up over the course of four days). This canon is interspersed with about 250 prostrations, and it lasts somewhere around 3 hours. It sounds intense (okay…it is intense) but it’s my favorite service of the year! And seriously, it feels timeless. I remember the first time we prayed the Canon at my home parish. Afterwards, the few of us present said, “Wow, that was super long. It must’ve been an hour!” We were astonished when we then checked the time. You just get so caught up in the beauty of the hymnography (and perhaps also the pain in your quads) that you lose track of time. In his Canon, St. Andrew takes worshipers through all of salvation history, drawing comparisons between the soul and various people in scripture. “To whom shall I liken you, O soul of many sins? Alas! to Cain and to Lamech. For you have stoned your body to death with your evil deeds, and killed your mind with your disordered longings.” I would definitely encourage each of you to come pray the Canon with us this year! Even if you can’t do all (or any) of the prostrations, or if you can only come to part of the service, it is something I think everyone should experience. This year we will be having the service on the evening of Monday, March 23. We will post something on our website closer to the date for details of time/location/RSVP info.

Regardless of whether or not you are able to come pray the Canon with us…you can still read this book! Frederica Mathewes-Green writes a beautiful commentary on the Canon, broken apart into 40 chapters so you can pray with the Canon throughout the Great Fast. I read it during the Nativity Fast (because patience isn’t a virtue I’ve yet acquired…) and was struck by the author’s ability to point out the beautiful insights of St. Andrew. My favorite aspect of the book was the “Consider” section at the end of each chapter, in which she asks keen questions to encourage the reader to apply St. Andrew’s words to his or her own life. Very practical! She helps the reader to understand sin “not so much as a bad deed meriting punishment, but rather as a self-inflicted wound.” She delves into St. Andrew’s references to mercy and compassion. And, perhaps one of the most helpful tools, she provides the passage location for every reference to scripture St. Andrew makes (which is…a lot)! I encourage you to read this book and take it seriously, and I think you will be much closer to our Lord by the end of the Great Fast.

“We are not used to thinking of repentance as a tool anymore, or as something that would continue to accompany a Christian throughout a lifetime. As we walk alongside St. Andrew, and see him search the Scriptures, and hear his humility matched by grateful confidence in God’s compassion, we begin to glimpse the healing power of repentance” (from the Introduction to First Fruits of Prayer).

Sunday, February 2, 2020

“If you say ‘yes,’ everyone will see!” (Mother Cecilia’s Vocation Story)

Happy Feast of the Meeting of Our Lord with Sts. Simeon and Anna! (Also called the Presentation of Our Lord in the Temple) Today is also World Day for Consecrated Life. In honor of this celebration, here is Mother Cecilia's vocation story. (Mother Theodora's story can be found here. We will post other stories in the future!)

When I was born, my parents gave me the name Julie. Three months later, my parents took me to my dad’s Byzantine Catholic church to have me baptized. When the priest asked during the baptism, “What saint is this child to be named after?,” my mom, a protestant who knew very little about saints, was speechless.  My godmother stepped in: “Saint Julie!” she said.

Sometime later, my mother, being a good Baptist, took me to her church to “dedicate” me to God. (Baptists do not baptize infants, waiting for the person to make his or her own choice, but they instead offer their children to God in a dedication ceremony.) She told me years later that when she did this, she “really meant it!”

I don’t remember attending my mom’s Baptist church every other Sunday as a young child. My mom became Byzantine Catholic when I was seven, and from then on the whole family was immersed solely in the faith, traditions and beauty of the Byzantine Church. I grew into my faith alongside of my mom, who became more on fire each year as she discovered more gems of the faith. Under the leadership of both of my parents, our family was very involved in the life of the parish, especially in its spiritual and educational dimensions.

During middle school and as I started high school, I thought of myself as a good Catholic, but God wasn’t yet totally real to me or the passion and love of my life. Throughout those years I was very insecure and struggled to fit in with my chosen group of friends. The summer after my sophomore year in high school I attended the national ByzanTEEN Youth Rally at Mt. St. Macrina in Uniontown, Pa.  I made some friends, learned a lot in the talks and was having a great time, but near the end of the weekend I again found myself in my typical state of insecurity and loneliness. Earlier in the weekend I had learned about the Jesus Prayer, and in the midst of my desolation I decided to give it a try. I was stunned to be immediately filled with an overwhelming peace and joy that had absolutely nothing to do with the acceptance of my peers. In that small moment I had opened the door of my heart to God, and my life was completely changed.

I continued to have many of my usual struggles when I went back to my public high school that fall, but I had found my value as a daughter of God. I began to make time each day for prayer, and I took the initiative to learn everything I could about my faith. That fall I also convinced my family to attend the annual pilgrimage at Mt. St. Macrina, which I heard about during the youth rally. We drove down for the day on Sunday, and while we were there I must have repeatedly mentioned that I wanted to talk to Sr. Celeste, the nun who facilitated the youth rally. “Well, go talk to her!” my mom said. But I didn’t know what to say; I just wanted to be around her. Finally, before the evening was over, my dad walked over to Sr. Celeste and introduced my family. I recall that we talked about the beautiful weather! I didn’t know at the time that this attraction was one of the first signs of my vocation.

The sisters at Mt. St. Macrina were the first religious sisters I had ever met, and it wasn’t until high school that the thought of religious life occurred to me as a possibility, maybe while reading the autobiography of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. During my senior year, my pastor started to slip discernment retreat brochures into my mail slot at the church. I was shocked but honored that he thought I might be called to religious life. I didn’t look into attending them…at first.

As high school came to an end, I made the decision to attend The University of Akron for financial reasons, even though I had set my heart on attending Franciscan University of Steubenville. It turned out that God knew what He was doing (as He always does!) by leading me to Akron.

During my first semester of college I decided to attend a discernment retreat with the Sisters of St. Basil the Great at Mt. St. Macrina. I loved the experience. It was the first time I had spent time with religious sisters, and I found out that they were very “normal” people, who laughed and liked to have fun. However, when I returned to school, it wasn’t long before I started spending time with a great Catholic guy from our Newman Center (the Catholic group on campus). We frequently attended the daily noon Mass together at St. Bernard’s, the Roman Catholic church just off campus, and started dating in December. I quickly threw aside any thoughts about religious life.

I loved college and was quickly growing into the person God had created me to be. I was surprised to meet other devoted Catholic students and made lots of wonderful friends. And to my great surprise, God called me to leadership roles as I sought to develop a more authentic and dynamic Catholic atmosphere at the Newman Center and as I helped my new friend Jessie to establish a Students for Life group on campus. For my remaining years in college I served as president of our Newman Center and vice-president of Students for Life (Jessie holding the corresponding roles!). I started working at the local Right to Life office and found my niche using the communication and design skills I was learning for the glory of God.

About eight months after we started dating, my boyfriend broke up with me. As a typical heartbroken girl, I thought my life was over! Later on, I read back over my journal entries during the time that we were dating and was surprised to discover that I wrote about the sense of “something more” to which I felt called. I didn’t understand, at the time, what it was.

That fall I attended another discernment retreat at Mt. St. Macrina. Again, I enjoyed the experience. The following spring the sisters were holding a discernment retreat in Phoenix, Arizona. I wanted to go, mostly because I had never been to Arizona and I knew it would be nice and warm! However, I knew I couldn’t go because of the cost of a plane ticket. But then one evening, the vocation director, Sr. Barbara Jean, called me up and said, “Someone has offered to pay for your trip. Would you like to go?” I heartily agreed.

On the plane I realized that although I was excited to go to Phoenix, I should also be serious about praying about my vocation. On Saturday morning we were praying Matins (morning prayer) in the little chapel of the retreat center. I was so at peace. I stayed in the chapel after everyone left. I stretched my hands out from each side of me with my palms facing upwards, in an act of surrender to God. As I stood there with my eyes closed, it felt like my arms were rising up on their own. I immediately pulled my arms back down to my body with the thought, “I don’t want anyone to see!” And within me I clearly sensed the Holy Spirit saying, “If you say ‘yes,’ everyone will see.” I knew that the Lord wasn’t talking about my hands; I assumed that He meant that if I entered religious life, everyone would see the decision I had made. I was at peace with that.

I was quite sure after this experience that God was calling me to religious life, but He knows me so well that He knew He would have to pull off something even more dramatic to impress the point upon me forever!

Holy Week was beginning as I returned to school after the retreat. In my prayer that week, the thought occurred to me that I should take note of the calendar date of that experience in the retreat house chapel and remember it. If it was true that I was really being called to religious life, I figured that this date would be important to me.  So I repeated it in my mind: “April 8th…April 8th.” 

On Holy Wednesday I repeated the date “April 8th” to myself as I prayed after Mass and then headed over to the Catholic book store near the church to look for a gift for a friend who would be entering the Catholic Church during the Easter Vigil. In the store, I walked straight over to the book aisle, not necessarily to buy one for my friend, but just because I love books! One book caught my eye and I pulled it off the shelf. It was about naming children after the saints, and it listed hundreds of saints and their feast days. I immediately thought of Sr. Barbara Jean’s vocation story, in which she explains how she heard the call to religious life on her feast day—a day on which she had made the annual habit of doing something special for herself and taking extra time for prayer. I thought to myself, “I should look up St. Julie and find out when her feast day is, so that I can make that day special too.” Previously, I had chosen St. Julie Billiart as my patron, since she was the only “St. Julie” I found, as opposed to “St. Julia.” So I flipped through the book and found St. Julie Billiart, and I froze, staring in shock at the page. Her feast day was April 8th! The tears started running down my face. “Lord, You want me?” I prayed in joy. “I’m so honored that You want me as Your bride!”

In a daze of joy, I found a gift for my friend and practically skipped back up campus (at least spiritually!). It was a warm day, but halfway to where I was going, the sky opened up and it poured! I started to run but couldn’t in my wet flip flops, so I took them off and ran barefoot into the nearest building, laughing out loud. God showered me with love in that rain by blessing me with a childhood joy of running in downpours!

It was difficult for me to tell my parents, family and friends about the call I had heard. Becoming a nun isn’t exactly a standard “career path.” How could I explain the intimate love I shared with Jesus which had led me to say “yes” to His invitation to be His bride? To my surprise, those in whom I confided were completely supportive. After a few months of joy mixed with inner turmoil, I began the application process with the Sisters of St. Basil. On the feast of the Dormition (August 15, 2006), I was accepted as an “affiliate” for a period of formal discernment before applying to be accepted into the community. I spent my last two years of college as an affiliate, visiting the sisters when I could, while remaining very active on campus, at Right to Life, at St. Bernard’s and in my home parish. I often wondered if God was calling me to the Roman Catholic Church, because of the youthfulness and zeal I found there, but it was during this time that I began attending weekly young adult gatherings at my bishop’s residence. It was in praying Vespers (evening prayer) with Bishop John Kudrick and these faithful, energetic young adults, that I realized that my beloved Byzantine Church was still alive and that God was asking me to be a part of its revitalization.

In January of 2008, before beginning my last semester of college, I made my longest visit with the Sisters of St. Basil and spoke to them about formally applying. However, God had other plans. Shortly after I returned from my visit, I read a letter that Bishop John had just published about his vision for establishing a men’s or women’s monastery (or both) in the Eparchy of Parma. He quoted from St. John Paul II’s apostolic letter Orientale Lumen (Light of the East), in which the pope wrote of the beauty and necessity of traditional Eastern monasticism, calling for its revitalization. With every word of that letter, my heart was “burning within me.” I simply knew that this was what I desired and what God wanted for me.

Without much hesitation, but also without any confirmation that this new monastery was even possible, I wrote to Bishop John of my interest. At that moment began a new journey of trust in God’s providence and wisdom. To my joy, I learned that Sr. Celeste (now Mother Theodora), the sister to whom I was so attracted during that first visit to Mt. St. Macrina, and who I had come to know better since that time, had discerned that it was God’s will for her to found this new monastery. I did what I could to journey with her through the struggle and complete surrender to God that was required in seeking exclaustration (a leave of absence from her community) and moving to the Eparchy of Parma (in December of 2008) even before the house that was given to us for our monastery was ready to live in! In February of 2009, I moved in with Sr. Celeste into the empty rectory at St. John’s in Solon where she was temporarily living, and on April 3, 2009, we moved into our new monastery on Mumford Road in Burton, Ohio…drywall dust from renovations still floating in the air! As we prayed for the first time in our monastery—Matins, that first morning—I cried tears of joy as I realized that this was Matins for the same liturgical day (Lazarus Saturday) as it had been on April 8, 2006, the moment that God revealed the gift of my vocation to me.

My close friend from college, Jessie, with whom I had stepped out in faith in so many ways during college, became the next woman to join our monastery (now Mother Gabriella). We laugh when we talk about the fact that writing the constitution for Students for Life was practice for writing our monastic typikon (rule)! If becoming a nun isn’t a standard “career path,” becoming a nun and starting a new monastery is even more absurd, yet this is the way God has chosen to love me, and this is the way He desires for me to love Him.

At the dawn of my life I was baptized into Divine Life, “dedicated” to God, and named after a saint who would help me to realize my vocation (and one who knows what it is like to establish a new community!—St. Julie Billiart founded the Sisters of Notre Dame).

At the dawn of my monastic life, I was named after another saint, one who would (and continues to) help me understand my vocation and to live it. On September 30, 2012, I was tonsured as a rasophore (“robe-bearer”) nun and received the name Sr. Cecilia. The martyr Cecilia is a model to me of monastic life because it is said that during the wedding celebration of her forced marriage she was singing in her heart to Jesus, asking Him to preserve her for Himself alone. Monastic life is a life of total dedication to God and continual praise of God. It is also a life of “white martyrdom”—a daily dying to self.

After receiving the name Cecilia, I learned that this name means, “Guide to the blind.” As time has passed, I have come to understand that when the Lord said to me, “If you say ‘yes,’ everyone will see,” He didn’t ultimately mean that everyone will see me, but that through my vocation others would see Him.

I made my life profession and was tonsured as a stavrophore (“cross-bearer”) nun on November 8, 2015, becoming Mother Cecilia. I ask God for the grace to persevere in this difficult but beautiful monastic life, so that at the end of my life on earth He will find me still completely dedicated to Him and still desiring to live forever as His bride in heaven.

Friday, January 31, 2020

New chapel sign

We recently had our chapel sign fixed up, and panels with our information were printed and installed. We thank our benefactors who continue to make all of these improvements possible. We are currently working on the plans for the interior renovations of the chapel!