“In this short time You have arranged to heal the great wounds of our soul.”I typically dread the start of the Great Fast; this ascetical season is so incredibly difficult, beyond my strength—the fasting, the long services, the spiritual combat. Last week, I was already struggling so much with all my responsibilities, and I couldn’t imagine how I could possibly add to the struggle by taking on the disciplines of the Great Fast. I had a little breakdown. And on the other side of my breakdown I realized that I was trying too hard!—trying too hard to be virtuous, to be a good leader, to pray well, etc. That’s why it was too hard for me: the Lord wasn’t asking me to try so hard.
I’m not sure what the Great Fast is going to look like for me, as I try to not try so hard in a time of year that is seen as a time to try harder! But what I do know is that I was deeply moved by this line from the Ambon Prayer (a prayer near the end of the Divine Liturgy) on Cheesefare Sunday (the day before the start of the Great Fast): “In this short time You have arranged to heal the great wounds of our soul.” It is God’s work, and He has planned out our healing! Yes, I need to cooperate, but all too often my efforts are a result of thinking it’s all up to me.
During these forty days, I invite you to join me in looking at the Lord and how He is loving us, rather than focusing on our ascetical efforts and whether or not we are doing them well. Join me in ignoring those condemning voices that tell us we are failing, that we are not good enough—those voices of the enemy that cause us to look only at ourselves (or at our neighbor, comparing ourselves and judging them). Let’s bring our wounds to the Divine Physician so that our ascetical practices (or, our inability to do them) will be healing medicine in His hands.
I also invite you to pray the Ambon Prayer, below, in its entirety. May God be with you on your Lenten journey!
“We thank you, O Lord Jesus Christ, that You have brought us to this opportune time of fasting towards salvation, for in this short time You have arranged to heal the great wounds of our soul, and to bring about the rejection of our many sins. Good Master, we pray You, remove from us any pharisaical hypocrisy in fasting, and banish all false sorrow. Drive from us all pride in our self-denial and moderation in deeds, words or thoughts. Fill us with light and the truth which You have taught. Strengthen us in the struggle against passions and in the war against sin. By alienation from passions prepare us to follow You by our fasting. Show us victory over the devil, that we may partake of Your death and resurrection, and rejoice in the joy which You have prepared for those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. For You are the God of mercy, and glory is Yours, together with the Father and the Son and Your all-holy, good and life-creating Spirit, now and ever and forever. Amen.”
